I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You took a bar mat shot.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
