currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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