This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
