Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize