Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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