What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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