girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
