My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
