Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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