like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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