But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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