TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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