You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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