Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My Sexting was not on an AP level
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
