no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
