OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
