No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is Oprah even human
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
