Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
