I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
