Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
not ubering you a puppy
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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