No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I fill condoms, not promises.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize