My cat gives me a boner
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
