Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
