I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You may now shotgun with the bride
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
