Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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