you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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