He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
