Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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