he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Two words: blizzard sex
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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