their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize