I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I party with great urgency now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
