I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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