They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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