Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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