so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My Higher Power is John Stamos
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
