we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We need to get me chipped asap
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
