Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
