We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
