Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
