So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
