oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
