Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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