he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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