I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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