69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
