Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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