I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
