Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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