is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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