Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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