you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
