Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
