umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
