sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
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Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize