it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
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I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
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We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i think i just lost a toe
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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