You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This is my gift to your gina
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
